I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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