Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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