you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
