i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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