I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
