so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
