I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
