Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
