Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
