just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
