i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
