remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize