is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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