Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
