I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm at about main and main street
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
