I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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