At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
