people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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