i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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