I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize