so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
