I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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