i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
