I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
