my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
