We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've blown a few things in my day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
