What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
