His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I could fuck to npr.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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