we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
