Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
