Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
