yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it hurts more in the daytime
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
