had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
