people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
