she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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