It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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