i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize