But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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