Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
