I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
