Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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