He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
