I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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