yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
