so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
