Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
