I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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