Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
