How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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