There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They should really pass out barf bags in church
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
