remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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