I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
