problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
