did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
