My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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