Please don't use social media to get back at me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
