Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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