My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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