OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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