She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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