He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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